Define Your Life?!

When You Let It Go Once Again

2012-01-27T23:13:00.004+08:00

I hope I've been a good shade all this while

As colorful as they are

Some people whom you've known all your life, they still look like a stranger to you, never too close, never unfamiliar. Some of them whom you randomly bump into at a cross road, they became so significant to you.

They remind you every bit of your past and ignited every emotions you ever had for anyone. They explore what's hidden beneath and make you realize what you're capable of becoming when you're pushed to your limits.

These people are the ones whom you're moved by your faith, trust and instincts; with authenticity and love. But every time you open your heart, you risk the chance of being hurt, which is usually inevitable.

You fall so hard that you allow jealousy and anger to conquer you when your desire is burning for someone. You know you've lost yourself gradually even if you're unsure that this person is worth the lost.

I could remember vividly every moment spent together. Every silly idea that crosses my mind just to make one happy, everything that I've done.

It feels so fast especially when everything is coming to an end so soon. But I'm glad that I put a punctuation before things gone beyond what's repairable.

What's ahead of me is an ambitious yet challenging path paved by the beautiful mind of god. It's what everyone would give up for. Perhaps, it's another strong excuse for me to suppress my truthful will at the bottom of my heart, follow it through and not slipped off the track.

For how long more?

I don't know.

p/s

How nice it'll be if everything stays the same

But I'll never regret for being who I am with you

Knock You Down and Get Back Up

2012-01-26T20:28:00.001+08:00

Everyone's out for dinners, visits and gatherings. I went for a long jog, dozed off on the swing and came home for a shower I needed most.

The next thing I know, I'm here at the usual spot waiting for time to pass. I don't know what to do.

Tonight is just so quiet.

p/s
I never thought I'd fall for you as hard as I did

Every Boom Has Its Bust

2012-01-26T00:24:00.006+08:00

(Penang Straits Quay)

The Western New year blasted out with one of the greatest news in my life and the Chinese New Year was awesome to begin with.

Not till when I'm back to check my retake results. It just shocked me. I didn't expect to see that score after all the troubles and effort I took to ensure a pretty good feeling as I walked off the examination room last November.

This just sent a shock of wave through my veins cause I know how important this is in my degree of Economics. Just the thought of losing all my offers if I play with such a poor bet in my final paper kills me. I need a flawless score to give me a breathing room in A2, but this just left me half strangled once again.

To remark or perhaps to retake once more. I'm such a dumbass! I've never had this terrible encounter with a Math paper before, it feels nothing more than a curse and I'm fucking sure that I fare very well in that paper unless something went wrong beyond my control.

Why such a mess?

Feeling pretty bitter inside despite all the 'good-looking' news recently, I felt a million times more pressure before I make a step.

If only you'd comprehend this, 'Every thing comes with a price, I'm purchasing it without leaving a penny for myself'.

With all this crashing at once, I felt like you're one of the passers-by I've mistaken as a significant figure in my life.

I just had to convince myself that, you're just a mistake.

Few months left, stay focus!!!

~~p/s~~

~~What's important for someone like you?~~

~~Enlighten me.~~

2012-01-22T01:29:00.001+08:00

It used to be sweet and lovely

But it became bitterly sour.

I wonder how it turned out this way

I regret for how it's been

I wish to turn the tide

And make the best out of everything

Before I live with regrets

That stings me forever.

But when you realised

That you're wrong about everything all this while

All that's left to do now is to keep the only valuable memory

far, far away from recollection.

Cross out each day as time goes by

Wave goodbye and never look back.

My Half That Makes Me Whole

2012-01-22T01:03:00.003+08:00

If I looked like one who always have the next 100 steps drafted in a blueprint

I've lost count completely.

When I'm emotionally driven, instinct is my sole navigator.

And it just gravitates towards you.

I confessed because you deserve the truth.

I asked because I desire the truth.

But it was actually an undesirable truth from you.

That's the only reason I felt so broken.

I'm drowning.

For how deep I've fallen in love with you.

p/s

I wish a million times

Our truth collides

That we both felt the same.

Won't Go Another Day Without You

2012-01-21T01:36:00.001+08:00

Life on the fast lane.

This week just finished off in a breath.

Monday

Study date>>Pasar Malam

This was the real spontaneous one fro me!

Tuesday

Short hangout @Lorong Seratus>> Back to back meetings

Wednesday

Birthday boy's failed surprised 20th celebration

Ikea meatballs

Beer factory

What Chivas did to me!

Forgive the blushing cheeks: They were just too shy to be captured! LOL

Thursday

Sent off Aussie darling >> Welcome Taiwan buddy

Friday

Lunch and dinner before CNY begins

The K-pop fanatic

Awesome home cooked meals + good time chilling

Here's a shoutout to all

...

Purely my amusement with capturing video lately

~~p/s~~

~~You played me like an amateur~~

~~And shot me down like a murderer~~

~~You just never feel the same~~

~~So do I?~~

Why Send Me Up When You Wanna Take Me Down?

2012-01-18T00:59:00.000+08:00

I'm so messed up right now, I don't know what to say

All I could do is to wait for a clarification.

My mind is running empty

In search for someone else

Who doesn't look right through me

p/s

Can anybody tell me why I'm lonely like a satellite

You Could Only Try

2012-01-16T23:01:00.003+08:00

Most of the time,

I was left with many words unspoken.

...

But

When you put someone above everything else

But you're just like anything else to them

It's like having nightmares walking forward to greet you every night.

Why am I such a fool?

When all these things, all of the time and memories

meant nothing to someone like you.

Why do I bother saying it aloud

When everyone is replaceable for you.

p/s

I've always been the one who would do anything

Tell me you're worth it

HEARTBREAKER

My last one.

I'm Still Just A Kid

2012-01-16T00:09:00.002+08:00

Half a month in 2012 had just passed, it feels pretty quick. I always feel behind time anyway. But the point is, my weekend was amazing! (excluding the flu and fever which tortured me badly) I felt like I was just a kid all over again.

Friday

Lifetime talk + Jogging @Bukit Kiara>>Tam's place>>Lunch with Tam's mommy and darling>> Gift shopping + threading @Bangsar>> Sick in bed @Home

We finally made it after months of procrastination! We used to do it so frequent back then. You know, when we're so much younger, jogging was one of the activities we do. But as you grow older, the varieties of events somehow pushed this healthy outing all the way down. Funny when she had her basketball jersey while I had my badminton shirt on, our stamina sucked like shit. OLD LIAO!

Had lunch with Aunty Tam and Lover Tam, someone insisted to have her favorite Lorong Seratus curry mee for lunch which turned out terrible while I had my best Penang Chee Cheong Fun.

The oyster sauce is damn good!!! SERIOUSLY.

Off to bangsar to grab some awesome pastries!!!

I brought this woman for threading, something every woman would have to overcome. She was so scared like a newborn baby, I was so embarrassed! A soon-to-be 20 year old shouting every second, it was NOT painful at all!

The highlight of the day!!!

I wish I could always be a kid in the toy shop.

Simply excited and playful.

p/s

Trying to edit my simple plan concert videos

Look out for my next post perhaps!

They really did rocked my pants off, literally!

I've always wanted to know if you feel the same
But I took a step back.

Turning off the heart for the next few months.
No regrets.

Dream, Hope and Love

2012-01-13T19:40:00.002+08:00

2011 has ended weeks ago and I have yet to write about the year and give a thought about my resolutions for the coming year .

Like so many adams and eves, I began to peck at the forbidden fruit and found it nothing short of miraculous. You might say you knew but the fact argued otherwise. I combed through the newsletter today and read an article that depicts how admission tutors filtered tenths of thousands of applicants across the globe with only a few thousand offers to be made. I was in awe and wondered what can possibly account for this? I never thought I was good enough to make the cut.

So many changes were simultaneously rippling through in a year's time. I learnt a hard way through one of my toughest leadership experience, confronted my deepest fear for cultural and racial understandings, witnessed the most heart breaking departure, accepted a worthy reward for an excellent grade but also retook a paper for my poor performance in another subject. In the past few months, I embarked on a journey to achieve one of my most desired dreams that finally turned into reality.

I was so overwhelmed with the speed of all these happenings, leaving me no time to think through it. Weeks of examinations followed by catch-up session with a couple of friends and a few treats as promised. Finally, I'm here at my usual spot sniffing like a sick pig alone to figure things out.

Everyone's been asking how do I feel about it? I couldn't quite describe what I genuinely felt and most often gave a two word reply, 'I'm glad'. But worries and concerns were a bigger part of what's in my mind.

I dreamt to be a possessor of a blindingly bright future but at times, I wonder what's the point of being on top, when I don't have you to share with.

I'M FEELING SO NUMB

towards everything.

AM I INERT?

Everything Happens For A Reason

2012-01-08T01:32:00.002+08:00

I can never describe the tension, agony, fear and angst at the bottom of my heart in this period of time in words. The breakdowns, self-doubts and uncertainties, those damp cold nights driving on the street alone, those silent cry by myself, I just don't know what to do when it hits. And thanks to my dear ones who've been through this with me and one of you who told me 'If it meant to be, it'll be and everything happens for a reason'.

Perhaps the first thought that striked my mind was the 10 days back at India in December 2010, I went there with a question about my faith. About everything that happened to me in that year which was deviated from my imaginations, expectations and will.

Why didn't I make it to the IB programme with my doubtless determination? Why was I sent to the UK instead of the States, the place that champions liberty and free will like no where else, the place I dreamt to be. Why not the Ivy's instead? Why not what I wanted?

I was still struggling with acceptance and I still wanted to pursue the other half of my desires despite what I've gotten. And out of the millions of people who wanted to meet him personally, I got that golden opportunity to ask him one question and he replied, 'Finish your duty in the UK, then talk about USA'.

*I know it sound superstitious to all of you*

And every reason behind these events that is happening seemed to manifest itself.

Of all the times I've intensively clicked on the Gmail tab, nothing occurred. This time, the random click put me in utter shock. I was so afraid to open it when I saw the mail from Cambridge, I called Wan Jin immediately and read it out with her, the first line started off with 'I'm very sorry...' We both knew it was nothing good and tears were oozing from the corner of my eyes.

But as I read through the lines, there was a twist! Who says sorry always come with a bad news? Human are judgemental, aren't we? I completely broke down into tears and I made sure my mom and few of my close friends interpret it correctly. That reassurance they gave me was really relieving!

I tightened my arms around mommy's waist and couldn't stop sobbing. I told her I can't believe it myself! Never see that coming, I swore?!!!

I'm sorry if I did not reply any of your wall posts and texts, I thank all of you here but I just thought it'll be safer when the official letter from UCAS knocks on my Gmail. I can never tell what's gonna happen!

Honestly, pride and glory is the last thing I'll be feeling right now. It's the relief, gratitude and peace that's filling every piece of my emotions, I feel so calm. I couldn't thank god for more, with his grace, all this fall into place for me. As I said, every Cambridge applicant has worked their ass of for it and I understand that insatiable thirst for a positive reply moments ago, I was just a tad bit close into feeling another side of the emotion.

So yes I'm overwhelmed but I genuinely wish every other applicant the best of luck!

I honestly think that I screwed up my TSA, my game theory essay and my interview. I got so tied up over my performance after that. So dear friends, please do not believe that I intend to fool you guys. And stop saying you will never believe what I say, OMG! Made me feel terribly bad.

I was just the lucky one this time. And like I always said, it's just the beginning. There's so much more ahead to be explored. I can't wait!

Thank you and I know I got all this for a purpose and I'll fulfil my call.

p/s

Praise the Universe!

The 'Nth' Day

2012-01-05T22:17:00.000+08:00

The sun rise and shine but my days have been gloomy. It's been so long since I've chilled at the usual place, a cup of warm choc and some baked cookies. I couldn't take it no more.

Call me a coward or what so not. I can feel the anxiety swallowing me, from inside out. I just don't know how to take a no for an answer.

Like why everything cramped themselves at the beginning of the year, where I don't even have the time to have my resolutions set. Perhaps when you put me through this, send me an angel that could keep me in secure in a sphere of fear and depression.

For what is worth, every one longed for the joy and good news but how many go through the journey with you?

Having history exam tomorrow, what a drill!

Making The Cut?

2012-01-03T21:12:00.000+08:00

I used to not understand how people get so tremendously anxious about one prestigious offer. I've seen many of my CHS mates, be it brilliant or just adequately good, they all get so tied up over the same thing. Anxiety that could ruin and the disappointment that would kill them.

I just thought, the moment you've applied, you knew it's a one in a million chance, just like a lottery machine. Why do you bother hoping? That's what everyone said, myself included.

But hell no! I'm now 24 hours away from discovering the truth, being in their shoes feeling the nerves that literally DESTROY my focus for term exam. Self doubts, self expectations, fear of disappointment and the period of time needed to heal the scar of defeat. You have no idea!

Every one in the entire world deserves a fair and equal chance, all have put significant efforts towards earning a place in a world class institution. I can't say I did more than anyone else and I'm pretty sure I'm just an adequate candidate.

Tomorrow, there'll be news of my brilliant mates all over facebook who succeed and some who did not. I knew it'll be a letter of rejection, the one that starts with a 'Sorry...' All I had to do is to accept it gracefully and move on with life, and to be genuinely happy for others.

It's not the end of the world. It doesn't mean god does not love you, it doesn't mean my prayers were not heard, it's just perhaps NOT THE RIGHT ONE for me.

p/s

I just need a pair of shoulders

Yours preferably.

One Last Turn

2011-12-30T23:26:00.002+08:00

Loving this song

Makes all sense

p/s

dozing off with my flu

Gone Too Soon

2011-12-30T00:36:00.001+08:00

God knows what idea brought me back to the hostel in a cold damp night, here I am at the 11th floor alone feeling extremely creepy. But the worst feeling is the feeling of unimportance, when everyone else seems so occupied.

Perhaps I hope a change in environment would make me take my studies more seriously seeing my exam in 4 days time instead of anything else, but the thought of you just kills me.

December took off wonderfully but you're the only pain in my ass. I'm suffocating every minute for the on and off relationship I'm having. The momentous coldness and hotness, my care for you and your negligence for me. I can't tell how tired am I to bear this brunt. You made up such a big part in me and you have every power to destroy it into complete crap. And you did it a million times.

Any idea what I've done a million times? Recovering myself, then put on that tolerance of god, pretending nothing had happened. I've been giving out every good bit, but taking in the worst of all. What have I done to deserve this from you?

~~Is this how I'm gonna end my year?~~

~~p/s~~

~~the part where you're so broken in love~~

~~you don't wanna spoil others who're so in love~~

~~I'm here stuffing it to the bottom of my heart~~

The Most Beautiful Time Of The Year

2011-12-27T01:28:00.000+08:00

So much of guilt for spending almost the whole December with people instead of books, I still had to make a Christmas plan. Santa's a big deal and I love him!

Never had a roller coaster ride up hill like last year, didn't head to Orchard Road as planned, have not want to immerse myself amongst the crowd at the heart of the city. This Christmas was about feasting and uniting with the same bunch of peeps whom celebrated many occasions together, been to trips and all.

They came back half dead after a fun filled trip at Morib while I'm the planner as usual. Made reservations at Daorae Korean BBQ restaurant at desa sri hartamas. One of the best in town!

Pick up the Cheah Siblings>> feast @Daorae>>Fun time @Jin's crib>>Merry Xmas!

We had 3 plates of beef and 2 plates of pork meat, of which are marinated with their own sauces. Not to forget my highly recommended Korean Style Fried Glass Noodle which stimulates everyone's taste buds.

The bottomless side dishes

You love dining with a bunch with marvellous appetite!

Pls order this dish whenever you visit daorae!

Pork!

Awesome beef!

Ask me a million times, I'd still say no!

But this is Jin's must have!

WE ALL ENDED UP BLOATED.

Nuff said.

Drove back to Jin's place and spent the night at the Karaoke room, camwhoring, eating ice cream, playing pool with Val and counting down! A big shoutout once the clock strikes 12! Woohooo....!

I guess many of you had a blast in Xmas too!

Thanks for all the greetings and texts darlings!

4 days till a brand new year!

Anxiety+Excitement

No...

I think

Anxiety > excitement

p/s

I just wanna spend as much time as possible with you

The Big 24 Is Here!

2011-12-24T02:45:00.001+08:00

It's been 2hours on this Christmas eve 2011 and I'm reluctant to go to bed. Loving the weather, the serenity and the christmas melodies. That said, there're only 7 days left for year 2011. I can't believe how this entire 2011 gonna finish off so quickly. And I can't recall everything at this moment.

I'm having an ambiguous feeling towards the end of the year. Excitement is definite cause what's better than celebrating eve and counting down together with loved ones, but exhaustion follows with all the preparation for exams right after new year, distraction comes when you have so many people you wish to spend time with, anxiety is inevitable when the biggest yet smallest hope of getting an offer letter from the ideal school will be revealed on the 1st week of a brand new year. And perhaps, another departure again.

A bundle of things squeezing its ways to fill me with multi complex emotions and feelings. I will have to deal with all of them at once. What the hell?! Year by year, I have bigger shoes to fill in, kinda freaks me out.

I thank god for all the abundance this year. It's been one hell of a ride but thank you for giving me a good ending to the year 2011.

Everyone, Have a Blast on Eve!!!

p/s

I wanna hold your hands
And walk you under the moon light
With my lips on your lips when it's Merry Christmas.

Love today, cause it's with you.

Take It Slow December!

2011-12-22T00:50:00.001+08:00

Hi World!

Feeling Xmas~ish?!

Looks like it's been quite some time since I've gotten any updates here.Sorry for leaving such an emotional post for such a long time. Not that I've lost my blogging mojo or passion for writing but I've been rather distracted with all the happenings in this beautiful month of December.

As you have known, I've always laid fulfilling plans for the year end. Be it a vacation, spiritual seminar, work or projects, there's always a plan. But this December 2011 was a complete Meet & Date month. Nothing that leaves a place with comfy chairs, cosy atmosphere and awesome food.

Met up with a whole bunch of peeps back from the UK and Aussie, high school mates, best buddies, National Service mates and friends. Had a really good time catching up with these different people in my life. Nice to know that everyone is in good shape, doing well in their respective fields.

That said, I burnt multiple big holes in my pocket with all the dates and outings. Troubled by the limited time in December to allocate time for all my lovelies. ~~(sorry if I had to turn down some of your dates!)~~ Not to mention my January term exam, I'll screw it definitely!

If you remember, I celebrated Xmas/Nyear in India last year. Mom wanted to bring me to Singapore since I love Christmas in the Orchard Road, but for some reason, I've decided to stay back for Christmas and New Year this year.

If you're wondering what's my plan this year, stay tuned!

Dear ones celebrating Xmas in Hkong, Spore, Taiwan

And of course everyone here

....

Wish all of you a Merry Christmas too!

Off candies and sweets,

Christmas songs and lights,

color of green and red and most of all

With the love of your life. Have fun people!

Loads of love!

Tell Me This Is Just A Dream

2011-12-14T01:51:00.002+08:00

~~I can't believe everything that's happening now. Every pinch of ache I'm feeling right now. I tried to occupy myself with work but my mind is torturing me so effing badly, I broke down.~~

I ran, I drove, I meditate, I study, I off of all the musics, I be around the crowd, I did everything to make sure I do not sink. And my last resort was to head to the swing in the middle of the night where it's freezing cold and creepily dark, cause I couldn't sleep.

How the hell could things turned out this way? What went wrong? God, you make me feel like I've fell for a meanless machine, you make me feel like my past was a worthless illusion and you make my happiest memories the most torturous moments of my life.

I want a way out of this! I beg you, do something on me so I could get out of this cycle. I'm so so so worn out. I don't know who else to look for, what else to do but kneeing down for your mercy. Lord!

~~Perhaps take my life,~~
~~and give it to someone else who'll make better use of it.~~

p/s

I can be tough, I can be strong
But with you, it's not like that at all

Just A Push Off The Cliff

2011-12-11T13:51:00.003+08:00

They say time could do wonders if there's nothing else you could do. It takes time to let things pass by but it took me enough time to realize how time fail to cast this magical spell on me-letting go.

Until today, when there're things that could put me in silence, truth that made my splintered heart throbbed out a painful and aching beat. I knew it was merely a constant deception in me all this while.

I set a pace that had me running to keep up, I set a destination that is beyond reach and all of this wore me out terribly.

As I cast an eye back for a moment to the Decembers of the past few years, I felt a twinge of collective remorse. Tears sprang, smarting into my eyes. I wanted December to be different, the whole year that comes down to the final month. I guess it's time for me to lick the wounds of defeat, and immersing myself at work.

I NEED A CLEAN BREAK

~~Silence is the loudest cry.~~

p/s

I fought to keep my breathing even for every word I've written.

And I wonder

Why do I always have people who makes me feel like a fool

trying to sift the entire beach for a few grains of sand?

Hola! What's For Christmas?

2011-12-10T17:03:00.001+08:00

Spent the last week around PJ and many nights alone at the hostel. Finally back to KL for good. What's better than a treat from my dearest mommy?!

I've been looking for a new camera to replace the old lumix and Lumix GF3 was high on my list besides Sony Nex-C3. Mentioned once to mommy about my passion for the latest camera of the Panasonic Micro Four Thirds Family, the world's smallest and lightest system camera with interchangeable lens, sexy touchscreen and beautiful performance.

One of the best Fridays!

Never really thought that I would get this pricey baby especially when I lost my keys and phone recently. Torn between a phone and camera! Who knew mommy brought her home, my eyes widened in disbelief when I uncovered the huge package. That moment of delight, speechless!

Lumix DMC-GF3

She's really light and good looking.

I'm now looking for the right bag to carry her.

Off to Ben's General Food Store @bangsar

Brother treated me with their best Pizzas before he leave for Sg

It was so packed that night!

Headed to the hostel after supper and spent the night till 3am in the morning discovering my new baby. Had a good time mamak~ing, strolling around and chatting with the camera fanatic.

Saturday meet-up with long time NS~ians @Fridays Pavilion

We've been wanting to catch up since a year ago and finally made it today! So thrilled! One thing I've got from NS was bumping into these two amazing women. We've been through the morning classes, marching, physical tests, dramas and craps and of course fun and laughters for that one month. Wonderful times.

Can never forget those boys~dramas back then!

With Baldwin, Florence and Amy

p/s

Dear books, you're not fit for December!

Those of you out there nerding hard, good luck with it!!!!

More Than What's Been Said

2011-12-07T01:34:00.000+08:00

Keeping myself grounded for the night.

Loving the peace and serenity, but I wish it could come without the loneliness.

Gonna snuggle up under the thick sheet tonight

If only you were here.

On My Mind

December, Own It!

2011-12-06T00:28:00.001+08:00

Saturday with Mommy

Tea time @Bistro 42

Crepe Suzette Cake with orange twist

Among the few I've tried at other places, this is quite good

The apple tarte tatin wasn't good at all. Nathalie gourmet's one is still unbeatable! Also had Croque Monsieur, turkey ham in Ciabatta bread coated with gruyere cheese. I'm a big fan of cheese but that was just way too much. (turn me off to even capture a pic of them!)

Met up with Chubby

Sports bar closed for spring cleaning>>Snack @Pappa rich>>Soho KL till midnight

Had loads of fun here!

Sunday with Brother

One-U>>Chinese brunch @Oriental Cravings>> Pampered myself with a lil hair treatment @Monsoon ID Saloon>>Mid valley

He never get bored of this, but I do.

Monday with the boy who came back from Melb & prefects

Sushi Zanmai @Sunway pyramid>> Taylor's subang>> Hostel

Toffee nut session (Frap & Latte) @Usual spot till 1am

Gonna have a jog at my place in the morning
then head to Subang for separate outings!
*woots*

p/s
Cause every time I paused
I still think of you.

2011-12-01T22:40:00.000+08:00

I'm so upset.

I don't know what to say.

Why do you have to remind me of what I'm feeling right now.

~~I gotta freaking wake up and realize that you're no longer here and stop this stupid habit of mine!!!~~

p/s

Lost is one of the most hurtful feeling in the whole damn world.

When Life Leaves Us Behind, Love Keeps Us Kind

2011-12-01T01:43:00.003+08:00

Screwed my class test today, like I totally stoned there and handed in a blank paper. I find myself banyak gaya with that attitude of mine! At least I still have something to lose.

It's a freaking day ONE of December 2011. For many reasons, the last month of the year has always been the most happening, fun-filled, romantic, relax and exciting month! Well probably, ~~not the romance part this year.~~ But there's a bunch of wonderful people to meet up with and it's time to vindicate my 'FFK queen' reputation.

Year end sales, christmas and countdown ahead. Lights began to fill streets and spread with so much cheers, Christmas songs in the malls, gifts and decorations all over. What not to love?

Seriously, don't you think 2011 has almost finished in a glimpse? I know it's awkward for me to say this but I honestly love how everything is right now. I don't want anything more complicated than what's in the present moment.

It's been too long for me to be upset over what's done and whoever's gone. The misery must end and I thought I'm doing pretty fine as time passes by. *a pat on my shoulders* For the length of time I've been able to distant myself from you, this is a record breakthrough!!!

DECEMBER

TAKE IT SLOW

I want this MomentsOfLife with you

p/s

Either I'll give you my entire soul

or a retreat with no trace left behind.

And A Thousand Years More

2011-11-29T01:27:00.000+08:00

I'm so used to losing my belongings, I don't feel a thing when I lose them. But today, I lost something that has been with me for ages, one that carries significant weight in the bundle of keys I carry with me everyday. I guess this is a big punishment for me to take my reckless habit seriously, it stings me so badly.

You always say 'I pay an expensive lesson to learn.' I can't say it's wrong this time.

It was once hung on my school bag, then clung to my locker keys in the prefect room till I retire and it proceeded to my house keys and lastly my car keys when I finally got my driving license. Now that it's all gone!

Time flies. So why can't we drop that fear and push away those barriers before we all regret for every thing we've not done, for every word we've not said.

They Can't Take What's Ours

2011-11-28T02:05:00.001+08:00

Stakes are high

Water is rough

This love is ours

p/s

Good night Sleep tight.

A Thousand Years

2011-11-28T00:04:00.001+08:00

Everything is okay when you're among the crowd, the noises and eventful things.

Every time when it comes to night, where I'm alone with the echoed sounds of my footsteps

I sink.

It feels like I have loved you for a thousand years.

I have died everyday waiting for you.

And I'm only one step away from hell.

I suck.

You Me Her Him Them Us

2011-11-27T02:54:00.005+08:00

A lot has happened for the past 6 months. To juggle between academics and events, needs and desire, process and results, love and work as well as leadership and friendship, all of that were challenging my limits once again. Many achievements were accomplished, but one thing for sure, more sacrifices were made. The only freedom given is the choice between which I want to sacrifice and which I do not. My choices may not be the wisest, but at least, each of them were well thought.

Why is my previous post title "Back To Good Times?" Cause when we all first met, we're just a bunch of 18th who were brought up differently that came to this common place to pursue our dreams. Hardships drifted us apart, but it also pulled us together. I regretted those scars and bruises left behind, but come to think of it. What could have made up a memorable 19th without the sugar and spices in life right?

Perhaps we all held grudges against each other. But at the bottom of our hearts, we all respect each other differences, we all cherish our similarities, we share our laughters and tears and we all celebrate our love.

I could never picture this journey I've had with you people (including those missing in the pics!) myself. Be it good times or terrible ones, it was a fated journey. As the end of the year approaches and with only perhaps less than a year left, I want to make every second counts with each and everyone of you. Priority goes to the boy who've just turned 19th and who is going to leave us in a few months time. *sobs*

I don't know what have gotten into me that make me kinda emotional tonight. But yeah, I'm not ashamed to be cheesy with a bunch. *shy shy*

Class mates

MKM mates

College mates

Housemates

...

A toast for the roller coaster ride of 2011!!!

Back to Good Times

2011-11-27T00:31:00.002+08:00

Hotel Armada>>Hostel>>One-U>>Yuan Steamboat @Sunway>> I-City>>Hostel

Had less than 5 hours of sleep after a long affair with my art&craft, woke up early in the morning and headed to Hotel Armada for an award ceremony with family and friends. Got to meet up with many peers from other education institutes who've done amazingly well in their examinations.

Lovely Daddy & mommy!

I hardly blog about my college mates

So let me intro abit lah...

Ooi Ken Lin (Taiping/Petronas scholar) : Malaysia Top for Math

Really helpful, funny but a very shy guy.

~Melbourne peeps, watch out for him! He's heading there next Feb!~

Jolyn Tan (local/JPA scholar) : Malaysia Top for Math & Overall 3rd for AS level

The very smart and hardworking type that stresses me out like mad sort of species

But, she's a really kind and gentle person lahh.

*coughs*

(Left) Shan wei~our lovely supporter

Our best friend/*ahem*'s lover/ Her housemates

Love her to bits!

Eat till drop @Yuan Steamboat

It's been a really long time since I've been here.

I had 3 plates of this! My love for prawns!!!

A walk in the City of Lights

Birthday darlings

It's a place worth for a visit. All you need there is a camera that could capture some wonderful moments of life under the moonlight with your loved ones.

Not to forget that we sang the birthday song once the clock strikes 12am, 3 cars rolled down the windows in the middle of nowhere.

Dear Shan Wei,

A personal dedication to our 1 and the 1/2 year old friendship. For all the times you've been there for me especially when I'm low, the companion in my car journey, the right away appearance every time I called, the long meaningful texts before I sleep, the stay backs with me at school and dinner/supper kaki. I know I'm a tough one to take in, thanks for being the tougher one.

Knew that you've anticipated for this! ;p

Too bad, you've gotten into my list of darling friends.

Cause there'll be no way out!

Happy 19th Birthday to the

...

Both of you who've been amazing friends to the pig!

*hearts*

~~p/s~~

~~I miss those expression of yours~~

~~For every single exceptional gifts~~

~~I made through the nights, days, weeks~~

~~Personally for you.~~

~~Guess you've forgotten them.~~

Color My Life With The Chaos Of Trouble

2011-11-21T02:09:00.003+08:00

I don't know what caught my eyes.

But I would give you the ability to see yourself through my eyes

Only then would you realize how extraordinary you're to me.

For some who'll spent their lives searching

for what I see in you.

But

We change for two reasons

(past)

1) Either you've learn enough that you want to

I learnt that you have to be your own hero

And save your little heart

Because the people you can't imagine living without

Can actually live without you.

(present)

2) Or you're hurt enough that you had to

You're not heartless

You just have a heart that doesn't belongs to me

I just pretend that it's okay.

Tell me otherwise

Could you?

~~I'm terribly weak with rejections.~~

Maybe it's not always about fixing something broken

But starting over and creating something better

I shall

RETREAT.

~~p/s~~
~~I don't know what exactly have I said~~
~~But anything less than I love you, is lying.~~

Where We Used To Be

2011-11-21T00:07:00.000+08:00

Just a couple of laps under the rain, I was already gasping for air. A sign of an old machine being kept in front of a desk too long, bad bad. I used to have good stamina with a pair of strong legs that could run for quite a distance, what happened to all that? *cries*

A sneak peak of my footsteps

...

I never run through this path, thanks to a baby snake the last time I was here

Reflection, beautiful isn't it?

My favorite pit stop

'I wanna be holding your hand in a sand by a tire swing,

where we used to be, baby you and me'

And then, supper @Delicious

My all time fav~turkey ham and cheese toasties

Peach and banana crumble

Tomorrow is the start of the week, gonna get back on track and start all the planning. Important dates coming up, gotta crack my brain a lil. Let's get pumped up!

p/s

If I fell for you, pull me back up

and not let me fall further.

I Might Drank A Lil More Than I Should Tonight

2011-11-20T00:45:00.002+08:00

After my last paper of the year!!!

The moment under the lights, the blaring stereos, the blatant beats of bass that filled the air and rocking the dance floor sub-consciously after 3 different types of hard liquor is truly amusing. I went to Alive for scotch whiskey and vodka, then MOS for another round of whiskey and the dance floor.

But the aftermath of it always suck! The pounding head, the heat along the veins, the weird feeling in the stomach and my awesome pawsome rashes put me on bed the entire day. I was half dead, I swear.

Satisfied my sushi cravings at Sushi Zanmai and brought home a bag full of ArmaniX clothes and dresses which makes me extremely happy for the day. Headed home for the best shower on earth and I'm trying really hard to deal with my whizzing nose and rashes. My body looks like a piece of art, WTF!

I'm still feeling shitty, wonder how long it takes this time.

p/s

I'm trying to collect the pieces of my words

What have I told you all night?

~~I'm afraid.~~

For A Million Times

2011-11-17T01:05:00.000+08:00

Of all the things I'm good at, letting go is my worst.

No matter how hard you've tried to leave me.

I haven't let it go yet.

I'm that stubborn pig you love.

Perhaps, once loved. .

p/s

I had no idea how you do it.

We're Just Friends, What Are You Saying

2011-11-16T20:39:00.000+08:00

Never get bored of this.

You know you love me, I know you care

Just shout whenever, and I'll be there

You are my love, You are my heart

And we will never ever ever be apart

...

We're just friends, what are you saying.

Said there's another, and look right in my eyes

...

Baby baby baby oh...

I thought you'd always be mine, mine

p/s

My last paper 2moro, ROCK IT!

Hold My Hands Till My Fear Subside

2011-11-16T02:52:00.001+08:00

Headed to school to claim my invitation card for the award ceremony next week. It's nice to unfold the letter and read what's written in it. Cause it's been a while since I've got something like this.

I remember back in high school, going up to the centre stage, shaking hands and receiving debate trophies, sports medals and academic certs were just one of the humdrum routines in life, now I miss it. I miss the sense of achievement I got from all my debate tournaments, miss the adrenaline of nailing a badminton tournament with my long time partner (the game point moment!). Most of all, I miss having you in the picture with me.

It's really easy to get words of congratulations from people around you when you succeed in something, big or small. Sharing the joy and being part of the pride is not difficult. How about otherwise?

I had a great experience when I was 15. My year was a smooth sailing ride with the most amazing things I could ever wanted. State's best speaker and champion, sports tournaments, PMR, event's chairman positions and the list just goes on and on. I ACE IT! But my 16th was a downhill, things cracked up and begin to go against me. I had an emotional trauma cause every single thing I touched, it fell apart.

Here is when you realize who are the most important people in your life, stood by you, going through the toughest time you have had. Watching you tear and giving you the toughest shoulder you'll ever need till the year has ended.

So I remind myself to keep both my feet on the ground all the time. All of the compliments can never beat one word of encouragement from you.

It''s a long way up

So hold my hands till my fear subside, will ya?

God blesses you with his grace,

but he'll take something in return.

Every gain comes with a lost, I know.

So I'm waiting to see what do I have to offer you.

p/s

When you're walking on air,

make sure you have someone

to bring you back down to earth.

The Hardest Thing

2011-11-15T01:41:00.001+08:00

It used to be a board full of papers.

For some reasons, I left it vacant for a while.

( It's probably time to take you down and put up something else)

I guess I put that last goal of mine at the very beginning of the year. After all that have happened in the first 6 months of 2011, I forgot about this. Today, I got a call from the exam department. One of my most ~~'non-preferred' lecturer~~ delivered the news to me after she tried to make me panic for something I may have done wrong. Later, I found out that I've realize this vision of mine, the one you're seeing on the board.

I had a jaw-dropped moment. I was like wow! This is something really excited to know about. As usual, I closed my eyes and sent my prayers, I passed the news to the few important person in my life to share the joy and I texted that one person in my mind whom I think will receive the same call as I did, with a better reward of course. (congrats to you too, brilliant ass!)

I have a list to thank you for and all of you were in my prayers.

Another lullaby :)

Those times, where I decided to let you walk away from me. If only I knew what it's like to live without you, I wouldn't.

This reward and so much more in the future, I want to share them with you, like we always did.

p/s

Tell me you want me back.

Would you?

The One That Got Away

2011-11-14T01:39:00.000+08:00

'in another life, i would make you stay, so i don't have to say that you were the one that got away'

Had a marathon with Grey's Anatomy.

The best way to get me through all these nights.

p/s

I'm trying really hard here.

Life Changes In A Heartbeat

2011-11-13T03:37:00.000+08:00

I'm thrilled!

In this lonely hours, I got to indulge in my favorite drama. Grey's anatomy is back and the start of the brand new season is already so heart breaking. God I love those script writers, they're so brilliant and sensitive.

p/s

You don't have a clue

me neither.

When The Mind Attacks The Heart

2011-11-12T19:44:00.001+08:00

I wanna shout my lungs out, a voice few octanes higher. And I hope that there's a black hole that could absorb the magnitude of my voice so that no one knows how harsh all those feelings that have been suppressed beneath sight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm so tired.

Every thing feels so far away and you kept slipping away. Like I've been running in place.

You think, you really think, you really believe that I actually asked for all this shit?

I swear to god I was broken.

I don't know what to do.

If I were to have a century of time, I'd give it all out.

Perhaps the last 3 seconds for a confession.

So I won't die with words left unspoken.

~~p/s~~

~~If I could write another ending, this wouldn't even be my words~~
~~I'd find a way where we would never ever be apart~~
~~right from the start.~~

Home Is In Your Eyes

2011-11-12T15:44:00.000+08:00

This has one of the best lyrics.

Sparks Fly At The Heart Of The City

2011-11-12T04:32:00.000+08:00

A simple superstition that you should make a wish at 11:11, they say it comes true. I can't remember where I first heard this but it appeared in my consciousness every time I spotted these 4 figures spontaneously on the clock. Believe it or not, I'd do it for fun or when you feel low, this little thought tells you that there's a silver lining.

Anyway, the USA celebrate veteran's day today, where WW1 ended long ago. Bottom line, this coincidence only happens once in my lifetime. I never wanted to take it for granted. Just so you know why it matters to me, if you're wondering.

College>>Starbucks>>Home>>Merry go round with GPS>> Arrive @KL Live Centre>> G Tower>>Luna Bar>>Took the wrong turn, almost headed to Genting>>Home

My first minute of it was with blue tags and chilli bulbs on my wall in the hostel. Something I really wanted to do long ago. When lights are off, the blinking bulbs makes your night really sweet.

Went for an hour of lecture and stoned at the college, wondering blankly and giggling at some handwritten notes. And this someone broke the silence and asked me how to spell antique, we crapped so much.

Grabbed a cup of Frap and headed home for a nap.Next thing, I was amongst the standing crowd shouting 'We Want Greyson', most of them young kids, we feel so old, like seriously. Greyson Chance is really one talented teenager, awesome vocal and he's really good with his piano. He can really hit high notes with a powerful voice, OMG!

(more pics http://www.mynameisjin.com/?p=2513)

Imagine a 14 year old teen singing a song saying, 'this one is for all the broken hearts out there'. And then another of his favorite saying, ' this is for the girl of my heart' *roll eyes x2*

The whole hitz crew were there hosting (JJ, Jin, Ryan). We sneaked in to the back stage and met with Jin. Managed to grab a pic with him. The first picture was prom 2009, and then another one was Jin's prom 2010, and now for 2011. Like one for each year. Nice catching up, time flies!

Headed to Luna Bar just in time at 11.11. *BIGGIE HIGH FIVE* Nice weather and thanks to the proposal drama that kept the night so romantic. Every one was like awww....!

Lazy us lying on the couch. It's so comfy after a long night, we don't want to leave. Great time doing our usual things, ya know ;)

As we stroll down the street at the heart of town.

chilli bulbs!!! :)

p/s

What have you wish for 11.11.11?

Puppy Lovie Dovie

2011-11-08T16:23:00.000+08:00

At first sight

Playful love

Deeply in love

Blissful love

growing old together

p/s

That kind of love.

那些年~those years

2011-11-08T02:52:00.003+08:00

Headed to the cinema 10 minutes before the show and managed to grab the last two tickets available, lucky us! I swear to god my friend and I were both walking on air when we got the tickets cause apparently, it's fully booked every where, we only wanted to watch this!

Every one (chinese kia) has fell head over heels for this beautiful love story of the author himself, he put them into words and now make it into a movie. I'm so thankful to the author for his writings. The little details, words, humor and innocence. Gosh, it triggered memories that got my tears oozing from the corner of my eyes.

Ties and blazers, wooden chairs and tables, blackboards and chalks, discipline teachers and class monitors, prefects and students. Last but not least, the love affairs in high school.

There's nothing in this world I would trade for the moments in CHS. That roller coaster ride of mine, that foolish and rebellious things I did, that reputation and criticism I got, those teachers whom I pissed off with my attitude, those rules I've broken, the suspension and punishment, every gain and loss makes up my life as a teenager. You couldn't say you had lived your high school life without these spices in it. The CHS spirit is deeply engraved in me, and many of the CHSians for sure.

But the best thing ever happened to me was bumping into you, the intensity of chemistry at first sight, I have no words for it. Both fell into a trap that does not have a route for escape, I knew it could still go on and make the years count. But fate dealt you a different hand and we chose to keep it at the bottom of our hearts and sweep it under the rug.

Who says the one you'll spend the rest of your life with is necessarily the love of your life? It's not absolute. Every one will end up with something eventually, it just may not be something that you've desired most.

Our paths have been paved by the beautiful mind of god, I cherish it and the love remains the most beautiful memory ever.

~~3 in the morning~~

~~this song have been playing all night long~~

~~I just want to go back to those years~~

~~and redo everything I've missed~~

p/s

那些年

我曾经拥有

满足了

Drop Everything And Meet Me In The Pouring Rain

2011-11-07T02:50:00.002+08:00

3 in the morning,

Flipping through a thousand pictures

And you got one

That says you're caught by a pair of eyes.

When was the last time you're so mesmerised?

p/s

'I'm a hopeless romantic'

Kim Kardahshian

Value Has A Value Only If Its Value Is Valued

2011-11-07T02:02:00.004+08:00

Sometimes, you'll get so carried away when you're so free for a moment after a long long time. You wake up in the morning, roll on the bed with the broken dreams last night, look out the window and breath in, turn on the music while checking your inbox(phone, facebook, twits, gmail and everything else), wash up and have a cup of fresh orange, put on something and off you go.

You drive without direction and let your instinct bring you to some place. Plans randomly crosses your mind and you go through the list on your contacts, looking for the right one that fits Monday, Tuesday, Wed...etc. And when you get multiple replies, you pick one and reject the others. Driving around, listening to musics, laughed at jokes, crapped with friends, shopped around, eating and snacking and probably grab a seat at the usual spot, waiting for the rain.

The days where you threw every thing behind-life of a slack. What have you missed? You miss the beeping tone on the mobile every now and then, You miss every fight over petty things, You miss the effort you need to break a cold war, You miss the silly stupid things you had to do to get someone back, You miss how you're mad at each other, You miss having opposite opinions and stands, You miss the compulsory morning and night greets, You miss seeing someone eating the food you hate most, You miss the scolding, nagging and crying, You miss how much you've been taken advantage of by the same person over and over again, You miss being the giver to a taker you've been destined to provide.

All of these where you were once so frustrated and annoyed about. You just want them back, abruptly.

God doesn't give you the people you want.

He gives you the people you need.

To love you, to leave you

To help you, to hurt you

To make you the person

you were meant to be

Feel Your Powers Running Through My Veins

2011-11-06T23:45:00.000+08:00

Sunday

Lot 10>>Pavillion>>Bangsar>>Home>>Hostel>>Home

What I'm tripping on?

Signing card for everything that I fell in love with at first sight. The really awful thing is when you're not the one making those hard earned pennies, you don't feel a pinch of swapping the cards.

I feel like a ~~complete spoilt brat~~. But once in a blue moon is okay, I guess?!

Brought my mak cik to the hostel for a clean up tonight. Despite the fact that I had to listen to her mumblings, the messy dusty room turns into a hotel room within a snap as always. The bribe tonight was a cup of hot coffee and a big bag of her favorite crackers.

I'll slow down when I have her along on the driving journey. She likes to look at me, ask me about studies, interviews, exams and how're my best friends doing. She could really name the few I genuinely love. Not to mention that she knows how to read my planners and scribbled board, she knows when I have what exams which really amaze me at times.

She's the only one who calls me Baby(~~I probably miss yours more~~), she always say that I'm smart and hard working but a tremendously stubborn person, she mocks me when I do prayers a fortnight before something big ahead but she will tell me that Allah is blessing me all the time(I guess god is universal), and she nags me endlessly, but her nags are the only one I'm willing to tolerate.

Her only dream now is to make a trip to Makkah for Haji after I head to the UK, and every time she tells me not to forget her when I become someone great in future. I gave her that subtle grin.

But at the bottom of my heart, I know no matter how far I could go, I'll never forget how much she has taken care of me.

p/s
November, be good to me.

Never Really Figure Out How To Love

2011-11-05T22:58:00.000+08:00

There're few dates to look forward to.

11/11/11

simply because it only happens once in this lifetime of mine, so make sure it'll be the MomentsOfLife

17/11/11

cause it's the last examination I have to sit for year 2011

9/12/11

cause someone is back?!

One of my favorites when I'm driving

I'm dying to watch 'You're the apple of my eye'

It's one of the best love story you can ever get.

And I've heard about all the awesome reviews

~~But with who?~~

p/s

with you.

Cheers To The Freaking Weekend

2011-11-05T22:39:00.000+08:00

Finally back to college on Friday, have loads to catch up after 2 weeks of study leave. Gotta get back on track as a college student, pretty boring but at the very least, it's simple.

Spent time for facial and dental appointment, also headed to the saloon for hair treatment. All sorts of stuff to fill my time. And napping at the hostel was one of my frequent to-dos lately, I just love to snuggle with my piggy bear on the 11th floor alone. I drove back a few times just to sleep, like seriously.

Friday night with Tam & Jeng

Dinner>>Usual spot>>17 Saloon @Giza>>Hostel

So my babe got me a twitter account, we spent hours arguing for the right name. Thanks for doing everything. The sign up, my password, pictures and the list of people to follow or not, all I did was to *nod* or *shake head*

One is having her finals next week, another one has a camp to attend for the weekend. But we ended up drinking till 3 in the morning. And the song '5 o clock in the morning, conversation got boring' just got stucked in my head, I got slapped every time I sing those lines.

Somewhere in my dreams, I got up and looked at the mirror, RASHES ATTACK again! The world needs an auto-scratching machine, a person like me needs it! Scratching all night, great!

Saturday

Woke up at 1pm>>One U>>Brunch and shopped with mummy

My appetite is back with Trio Dip with Lebanese bread for appetizer, fav carbonara for main and banana pudding with butterscotch sauce for dessert.

And then

Gap and Topshop for the day

Nail it!

*woots*

Thanks mommy!!!

Another good Sunday and I'm back to work.

p/s

Never really figure out how to love

You just taught me how.

Write Me A Love Song

2011-11-04T00:30:00.000+08:00

When I said my heart beats for you, I meant it.

And I'm here feeling every bit of it.

But you don't seem to get it.

1/11/11

2011-11-02T16:47:00.002+08:00

For the first time in a really long time, I headed to the skating rink. Couldn't recall when was the last time I actually have the pleasure of doing something out of leisure, more so skating. And it's my first time having someone in the rink with me who skates in such adorable way. I had my palms squeezed like a stress ball but I guess you can't buy that genuine experience ;)

Had a good time chilling at Coffee Bean amid the heavy downpour. But the stuck in the jam under the drizzling rain for hours later was exhausting. Thank god the comfort food for dinner was a warm sizzling pot of porridge after a day of cold fizzy things.

Next? Real steel! This movie kept my adrenaline pumping all the time, I was right up on my seat, shouting, and almost punching my fist in the air. Thanks to the one next to me who calm my nerves. Go watch it!

My day was perfect until I bump into my friend's dad in the mall. I could always go right up and make a greet. But beside him was another youthful looking woman, they were so cheesy together. And common sense tells me that it's probably not a good thing to say hi. The moment he grabbed her waist, my heart just dropped to my feet.

First, there're politicians engulfed in sex scandals, next we have world class sportsmen marital infidelity, then there comes celebrity's cheating scandals (Sandra Bullock, Jlo, Kim Kard). Now who's in front of me is my friend's dad, you get me? What could you say about it? All I could think of is the my friend's mum who's probably making dinners and doing house chores at home waiting for him to be back.

WTF is wrong with you people?

Here's to 1/11/11. What's for 11/11/11?

p/s
When someone have faith in you,

never let them fall when they lay their hands on you.

~~Cause I genuinely hate the feeling of being cheated.~~

All The Crazy Things We Did

2011-11-01T03:22:00.001+08:00

Statistic is over! How was it? I say it's like Tofu, superbly smooth. Maybe it's a really bad analogy but hey, it's 3 am and I'm half conscious and all hyped up! Feels good to be at school with the bunch who retake stats, all of us are so semangat-ed and were just really relieved when it's over. maybe the morning msgs work for me ;)

Facial appointment>>Pig nap home>>stuck in the jam for 2 hours>>Tam's place>>dinner @Oriental Cravings>> Got my shades! >> Sterling (no partying for halloween, gotta be sober next day)

Tonight was like the olden days. We just hang out ourselves, quietly. Talking crap, camwhore, think about life, make jokes, stalk people on facebook, youtube everything, have really awesome musics, and and and following KimK divorce rumors on twitter. Like seriously, the fairy tale wedding was only weeks ago?!

The luxurious ceremony, the rings and blinks, the oath and promises are merely a flamboyant flaunt of status. When it comes so easily, it could go in a glimpse too. When it comes to love, it just needs a guardian and keeper. You just can't take it for granted.

Sigh!

That's how you keep, for a long long time. For me, the longer it's kept, it gets more precious. Like an antique, its value rises as it aged. For many, I guess it's the other way round. I don't understand how people could just let go of something you've garner with all your heart. It just such a beautiful gift from god to be able to love and be loved.

So if there's this someone in your heart, take the courage to tell them, appreciate and celebrate like there's no tomorrow, and most importantly no one else! And make sure you meant them when you say the 3 words. If there isn't one yet, keep it for the special one.

Last thing we did till the morning, the Soundhound app in Iphone. Play a song and they'll detect the artist and song name. I sing to it, and every of the song I sang was accurately detected! *flips hair* Awesome night! I sung so many of it.

When you look me in the eye

I catch a glimpse of heaven

DefineYourLife?!

31/10/2011

p/s

you know you love me

I know you care

we're just friends

what're you saying?!

Every Night I Longed For This

2011-10-30T23:51:00.001+08:00

So it's been a month, I tried so hard for every thing that I've set on my vision board. The freezing hours in the library till late hours, the moments at usual spot till it closes and the countless nights spent on the 11th floor alone must come to a halt.

My period of battle should end and the time of my life shall arrive. It's the year end! Dear Lord, it's time to give my body some rest. Enough of hiccups, enough of heart breaks, enough of let downs, enough of the hit on the face and every part of the aching soul.

If there're more to come, I'll welcome it with open hands after I reinvigorate my spirit. Just, not for the year 2011 any more. I solely want to do what I want to, and be with who I love. Make it as ordinary as possible, as simple as it could be.

I realise no matter how big my dreams could be, how high I could rise, how perfect a world I could live in, it's completely empty without you. But it's good to know it now.

All the best to all of you tomorrow.

Let's take Stats down!

On second thought, not every one, cause the graph would be higher, and the A* would be more difficult...

Kay, whatever, just nail it man!

And thank you

To the both of you

One who solve all my mathematical queries (physically)

and another who gives me unconditional support and care (mentally)

Throughout this entire month.

Livia Chan owe you both a big one!!!

I would love to put two puzzles together

and make a complete picture.

*wink*

p/s

ever since I met you

Simplicity is all I ever wanted.

As When Merry-go-round No Longer Go Rounds

2011-10-30T02:41:00.001+08:00

sun no longer rise and set,

tide no longer come and go,

time is gonna stop,

world is gonna vanish.

Make sure I'm with you.

In this carousel that will always bring us back to where we first met.

~~I longed for the ability to rewind and replay or perhaps restart.~~

p/s
It's almost 3am. I'm still freaking awake.
Why can't my brain go to rest? God damn please.
Cause I hate laying on the bed, staring wide at the ceiling.
Head out and drive? No, Yes, Nooo...Yes!!!

Don't Make Me Hold On When You're Not

2011-10-29T16:43:00.000+08:00

If you're like me

One who chases for every thing in life

Literally every thing that could be chased.

There should be an exception

...

Cause it'll be an endless chase.

This one is awesome, watched it on MTV yesterday night.

by The Click Five

~~p/s~~

~~But if you love me~~
~~please don't make me chase for it~~

I'm Over You

2011-10-29T16:06:00.001+08:00

I can never get this right

The moment I stepped out of the hall where every law, economics and the many other sciences applicants cramped their brain to finish the Thinking Skill Assessments and essays, I was so relieved.

This whole process which have been bugging me since months ago has finally come to an end. I picked a question on game theory to answer. One which is so interesting and yet so intimidating. Am really fascinated with this topic especially when I encountered it during the interview.

One thing for sure, a degree in Economics surely comprise a huge deal in maths. And I've begin to question my choice to choose Economics over law, cause I was so tempted to sit for the law papers today. The questions are much more appealing to me than what's in the Economics column.

Like I said, let the chips fall where they may. One more paper ahead (actually 2) and I'll announce freedom! It'll be another quiet weekend at the hostel, still, I gotta pull it through.

By the way, all the best to all of you who're retaking the papers. It's okay to make mistakes in life. just don't make the same mistake twice! This is what I've been telling myself too.

p/s

If I make the same mistake twice with you.

It's not a mistake.

It's the truth.

Let The Chips Fall Where They May

2011-10-29T00:59:00.001+08:00

So the plan to keep myself in the battle mode till October 31st failed! Screw my test tomorrow morning and off I went to my usual spot to meet with the barney who've just landed freshly. *biggie hugs*

Could feel the excitement in the air! And the fact that my Letterman Jacket has arrived, complimented by an Abercrombie hoodie just blew me away!!! Thanks babe. You've completely turn my moody days away.

(waiting for another Gap from the UK this Dec!)

Awesome time starbucking, camwhoring, facebooking, crapping, studying, coughing and also speeding together on our way back. Haha. Life's gonna be great for the last two months of 2011!

p/s

You know at times when you hold on to something so tightly,
the force it exerts back on your palms are so much greater.

So why not loosen my grip and let it off?

As times goes by, my feelings got so much deeper
and I've been so emotionally attached to you.

But I guess I have to learn how to
'Let the cards fall and play them as they lay.'

Can't Wait For This To Be Over

2011-10-28T14:36:00.000+08:00

my jar of wishes

A written test and tsa for the weekend. Then a stat test on Monday.

My only wish now?

I can't wait for all this to be over.

I just want to get it over and be done with!

And have the rest of my days be loved!

p/s

I want to earn you back!

Stretch Them High

2011-10-28T01:11:00.003+08:00

It's been a long day today and I try my best to not be emotional about it. I find the most optimistic man on earth to supervise my work on a coming test, I look for a dog I've fell in love with and linger around with one who understands me well enough.

Ultimately, I don't wanna be alone. I don't wanna head home. I don't wanna do anything despite my tight schedule ahead. I just want to breath and let it out. The thing is, I forgot to bring my hostel keys, brilliant eh?

I'm sorry to all if I failed to reply your messages, I just don't know what to say and I guess Define Your Life?! speaks for me. So yeah, that's about it. I'm not exaggerating, but I'm telling myself to accept the fact that I'm not made for it, it's heart breaking I know.

~~Couch potato for tonight! sigh.~~

p/s

~~Perhaps I secretly wanted you to be by my side~~

~~It hurts when you're always not there.~~

~~but I'm tired of being the one looking.~~

~~And the best option is to leave you in that simplicity~~

~~Cause I hate the feeling of scaring you away.~~

~~You have what it takes to fix me.~~

~~But you choose not to.~~

~~I get it.~~

The Most Intense 30 Mins

2011-10-27T16:31:00.000+08:00

I SCREWED UP JORR!!

I really did.

I did badly cause it wasn't what I expected it to be.

All prep work basically goes to the trash can and the only thing you could count on

Is the rationality of the brain that love figures.

Which I'm clearly not.

So I surrender.

Goodbye Cambridge.

GAHH!

Glad it's over anyway.

OMG

2011-10-27T09:57:00.001+08:00

OH MY GOD

PANIC ATTACK SHIT

NERVE WRECKING SHIT

HEART FAILURE SHIT

11.40am

It's coming.

OH MY GOD

ALL BY MYSELF NOW

...

Chill, Cool, Calm

2011-10-26T22:26:00.006+08:00

Ganbateh!

I don't know what's gonna happen tomorrow. But to be able to make it this far, I thank god. This whole application process have triggered me to learn more and understand better about my subject beyond the school text books.

Reading the news everyday, being aware of what's happening across the globe in this period of financial meltdown is truly eye opening. Those thoughts and questions that crossed my mind when I'm eating, driving or perhaps sleeping are very much appreciated.

The 3 books I got to read within a week of my study leave certainly worth a thousand lessons in school. Truly amazing. Like what Steven Levitt said, 'things you always thought you knew but didn't, and things you never thought you wanted to know, but do.'

So yeah, it's just gonna be another human in front of me tomorrow. Look forward to engage in an intelligent conversation with Dr. Murray Milgate ~~(despite his intimidating testimonial)~~

To those of you who declared all your love and luck to me through your long long text and calls, thanks man! I'll survive. Piggy loves and kisses!

GAHH!!!

Whoever you are,

I'm gonna charm you to death, WATCH OUT!

Hehe, kidding larh.

Okay, I don't think I could sleep.

But still, good night.

~~p/s~~

~~I wish I could pretend that you never existed in my life.~~
~~I really do.~~

The Boost In The Morning

2011-10-26T11:37:00.001+08:00

Was having my orange juice first thing in the morning, and the random me decided to check my gmail (I don't check mails). UCAS sent me a mail to track my University application progress.

Clicked into the webpage and saw that,

Both Bristol and Warwick have made me conditional offers.

'I was like, wow, now it's only October? They're fast!'

Nothing big I know.

But I guess this is a confidence boost for tomorrow! Wee! :)
God, you know what's the burning desire inside. Kindly grant it please.

HAPPY DWALI PEOPLE!

And

Thank You.

JaiGuruDev

Preference Over Choices

2011-10-26T01:28:00.001+08:00

Could barely see through the glass doors covered with mist, it's so freaking cold again. Stopped by at the Lok Lok truck to get some warm hot stuff. With me at wee hours in the morning on the street of solaris are mostly clubbers.That makes me the odd one out. The casual scene would be a bunch of women surrounding a guy, they eat the food, the man foot the bill.

On one hand, he has his bottle of Heineken, what's more amusing is not just where his other hand is but how one hand could be at so many 'places'. *roll eyes* Like I really wanna have a night out to enjoy my supper and be ignorant. That's why when they say that there's no free lunch in the world, it's true. Thank god I know how to pay for all my meals.

Drove over to 7-11, desperate to get a cold drink. I literally stoned there for like 10 minutes, and the storekeeper was looking since I'm the only one in the store anyway. Right in front of me was a huge refrigerator storing a myriad of different drinks packed in a variety of colors, sizes, shapes and brands. For one wild second, I just don't know what to choose. wtf!

I could have grab anything, cause any pack on the rack could quench my thirst easily. There are so many choices, but it's just a matter of preference at that moment.

I believe every choice serve the same purpose, it could bring you to a destination. But when you could only make one choice, preference matters. If you're one who always have preference for one over another, you'll always be given more choices to make. If you're not, why would you need choices in the first place?

Choices are many, preference is one.

Choices are given, preference is made.

Choices are everyone's, preference is yours.

p/s
You may be one of the many choices given to me
But you're my preference.
Understand?
I want to know your preference, not choices.

What I Do To Have You Here?

2011-10-24T23:36:00.002+08:00

Probably is the chilled weather tonight or the walk along the street at solaris that ignites the little memories I have, it just puts a subtle grin on my face.

2 more days to go! I guess my brain have little room left for more inputs, thoughts of you occasionally ease my day. Damn damn, how I wish you were here with me to walk me through, like you always did.

~~p/s~~
~~your ignorance just set me off.~~

That's What Faith Can Do

2011-10-23T13:40:00.000+08:00

My brother is a concert fanatic. If I were to have a record for the numbers of concert he had been to, it will be a never ending list. Of all the things he spent on, concert tickets don't need much hesitation (food aside!). He loves music, so are live performances.

And it is his high compliment for the Jayesslee concert in Malaysia few days ago that draws my attention to them. So have all the Aussie peeps who've been saying as well as Jin from Hitz who got them performing live in his studio.

If you think that they're just people with pretty faces who are blessed with amazing vocals (like I did), you should really know more.

Their mother was diagnosed with cancer when they were just 7 and they've been through a long battle together with her before she passed away. The blame and anger they've held against God was so intense when they were younger. It was only during a Churh camp back at high school, they had their first encounter with God. Since then, every thing changed.

What Faith Can Do @City Harvest Church

Perhaps,

If you're having tough times,

Faith is what you could count on.

p/s

It is easy to praise Lord when every thing is going right,

but when things are tough, we just need to have faith

and believe that He knows what he is doing.

The Genuine Touch

2011-10-23T04:35:00.002+08:00

It's four in the morning and I just had a hot bath after a long night. Lazing on the couch, putting a few lines before I go to bed when everyone is about to wake up. At least the big bunch of UK peeps are on at this hour.

I have been amazingly discipline lately. Confining myself within the compound at 11th floor and taking dinners at light speed to save time. To an extent where I got so bored with the routine, I'll only drive out on the street at early dawn to feel the breeze.

Tonight was an exception. My sudden craving for Caramel frapp at 11pm got me to Starbucks without hesitation. Little did I know I brought along a bigger fan of Starbucks than I am, one who could swiftly ~~sneak cups~~ out of sight. I didn't even notice it, OMG! ~~I do feel guilty but the pleasure of having your own Starbucks mug surpasses everything.~~

Only today, I knew that there is a big lake nearby. With my favorite colorful chilli bulbs hanging on the trees and archs covered with greeneries along the path. It's breathtaking to walk the park under such chilled weather, a breakaway from the day.

The rest of the time was with this cute little bitch that brightens up my day. She's just so adorable and lovely. Curled up like a doughnut and breathed a sigh every now and then while she sleeps. I had so much pleasure making gentle strokes along her furs while solving dull and boring Statistics questions.

She licks your toe,

she stares at your mobile when the keypad makes noises

and she won't make noises.

Of all the puppies I have played with

(some friend's place, SPCA or wherever)

She is one that really captures my heart.

Why dogs?

Their loyalty is the most amazing quality

One can have many dogs, but dogs only have one owner.

Lullaby for the night.
~~I miss you.~~
(It's a really nice song!)

p/s

Of all the hiccups in life,

These are moments that really makes you feel happy and contented.

As though nothing else matters anymore.

It's been long since I felt this way.

If That's What You Need

2011-10-22T12:15:00.000+08:00

Morning Saturday!

No more frowning!

Let's go for grocery shopping!

I need food in the hostel!!!

(Mason-Kourtney Kardahshian's baby boy..aww!)

And and and

Woots!

Get the day started!!!

Crawling Back To You

2011-10-22T02:02:00.001+08:00

Caution: don't bother reading my rants!

~~(After effect of a 24/7 self detention with questions that knock you down)~~

Every now and then, people bombard me with questions, seeking for opinions and consultation. I'll be glad if I could help. In any way, by any means.

But the last thing I need from you in this crucial period is to do what every one else is doing to me. Cause you used to be the one who answers all my questions, who give me faith like no other. What happened to all that?

Every time I say I'm fine. I'm hell not! I just don't know what else to say. Cause I can't tell you every detail that's been happening when time is so limited. When details are put aside, conversations linger on the surface, great!

I'm very much torn apart than every one else around me. Not to mention 3 tests and 1 interview cramped in a week, which will begin in 5 days time. I need to adapt swiftly and immerse myself in this battle mode where nothing else can distract the focus I needed, nothing to discourage me, nothing to destruct my faith and nothing to blow my confidence. Get it?

It's not just being optimistic or putting a smile that could solve every thing. To me, those are self deceiving. Reality hits you in the face and tells you that you have to race with time to be well equipped, so face it! And when you fall, no one else is permanently there by your side no matter how much you wanted a company, so just tell yourself you'll hit hard on the floor. Feel very pinch of it and LIVE WITH IT!

I never leave you alone when you needed one,

So where're you when I needed you?

I thought they say

What goes around, comes around?

Deception!

And you're another deception!

Someone Like You

2011-10-21T14:28:00.002+08:00

Nothing compares
No worries or cares
Regrets and mistakes
They are memories made.
Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."

It reminds me of everything

No matter how hard I tried to forget and forgo.

You have no idea.

p/s

I found someone like you.

But NOT you.

We Met On A Blind Date

2011-10-18T23:55:00.001+08:00

Tuning into Marry Me by Train

This is that one thing I need.

Some say we met on a blind date

I say we met because my fate and your dreams collide,

or perhaps the other way round.

I'm gonna channel that magnitude of love of mine

...

to god!

Wise no?

Good night people.

It's still so early for me

Gonna read till my eye balls drop out!

p/s

there's a long road ahead

If I want some company

Will you walk with me?

Running To Where You Are

2011-10-18T21:24:00.001+08:00

Went for the mock interview today, my palms were sweating, pulse were racing but I still gotta put that poker face and pretend that everything is okay. Got to meet Dato Richard Small today, the man who really turned me upside down in my process of writing the personal statement, I'm glad that he remembered what I wrote regardless of how controversial it is.

Things went pretty well, feel relieved to have a good feedback from him. Engaged in a conversation that lasted for almost an hour. Put myself through the USA-CHINA trade war, Euro zone crisis, protectionism and everything else. I was utterly blank when he asked me about the idea of changing Greek currency back to Drachma, but still pulled it through.

He said I speak too fast! OMG, this is the killer! I knew it but I can't help it. Please teach me how to speak at a decent speed!

Went back to college, stoned there and thought what I should do. On my way home, my car died on me. WTF! My car has been sent for 2 days service and the unifi at home is not working!!!

I'm gonna survive this roller coaster ride!

Just one more week to go!

My barney will be back!!

And I'll be freed!!!

p/s

'You're obviously able, it just comes down to your luck that day'

Hope so!

Pat Yourself On The Back

2011-10-17T21:37:00.001+08:00

Nothing feels better than coming to my usual spot at Mont Kiara. So tomorrow is the mock and I'm stuffing myself with chocolate and oven baked cookies. Fat die me! I know.

But food are not perfect substitute of you. I used to have you all the time, especially when I have mountains to climb. And it was you, I succeeded in so many of them as I grow up. What's the picture without you? Imagine a bird without its wings. Excruciating!

Oh my god, I hate this feeling. People find me amazingly independent at times, but they never know the trick - ~~I'm horrendously dependent on you.~~

A text, an assured glance, a subtle gesture, a lovely wink and the key words are the only things that matters to me. But you just have to live in the present and dump the past.

p/s

Perhaps I've mistaken you as my angel

2011-10-16T14:54:00.001+08:00

Of all the scrumptious food I've tasted, I'm proud to show you this!

16/10/2011

I get it, it's just Maggi Mee.

But it's my FIRST SELF-COOKED MEAL ever since I've been in the hostel for a year or so.

So happy when it's finally done

But not so when it went down my throat!

*sobs*

~~taste awful~~

Don't Know Where It Goes From Here

2011-10-16T13:44:00.003+08:00

The sunlight shone through the windows on the 11th floor and I know I just missed another family brunch on a Sunday like this.

Been staying up till wee hours in the morning, and thank god there are people who have loads of assignments to be completed as well, I'm not the only poor fellow.*wink*

Amidst the messy table, the stack of papers, the countless tabs opened to be read, the questions to be answered, the calculations to be done, the amount of sticky notes on my wall, my anxiety boils over! At some point of time, when my eyelids need a breath, I just go utterly blank.

Like I don't know if what I'm doing is worthwhile, where would this lead me to, and what on earth do I really want beyond all the pride and prestige. I truly wonder if I'm on the verge of death, one step away from falling off the cliff, is this all I ever wanted? As much as I hate people saying I don't know, it's my time to really feel the meaning of this 3 words, I F***king don't know!

When you think about the possibility of succeeding is so slim, you really question yourself what's the incentive to work through it. There goes the doubts and self destruction, brilliant! And I got to find a way to shove that thought away and talk myself through it. These are times when you feel extremely lonely and helpless. But still, I gotta pull it through. For what? I don't know.

I understand that in this whole damn world, everyone has their plight, and perhaps thousand times worse than what I have to overcome now. But it's scary to not know where you going from here. Don't you?

In the end

It's such a scary place to be

Everything is in between

I don't know where to go from here.

I truly don't know.

p/s

enlighten me

It's Gotta Be Somebody

2011-10-15T02:11:00.001+08:00

Strained neck, heavy eyelids, and a pair of aching shoulders that led me to the doorsteps of my hostel at 1 in the morning. Hostel alone again, forgot that it's a weekend, sigh!

Just got back from Starbucks, where Kah Lok have spent 12 hours with me solving every single question that I couldn't figure out. 12pm-12am, no joke! (I officially declare that I'm brain dead, so is he! ) I really gotta thank this man for everything he had done for me this far. All his guidance, endless time, unconditional support and effort to help me achieve my target.

After I got him my favorite shakened choc!

Tambah efficient! ;)

He is just amazingly caring, lovely, thoughtful and helpful that I cannot find words to express my gratitude for him. That said, he's my best buddy whom I've known since std 1 till present, a very long established friendship (not what you think).

Thanks for staying up with me, walking me to the ATM machine, buying me reload card, having good food with me, jokes and humor and the patience of god to answer my 'WHYs'. You must be so tired and tortured by my stubbornness and obsession with work. Love you to bits!

Dinner @ Kokopelli

Margeritha

Roast Chicken

Boy, I owe you a big big one! And I am one who keep to my words.

Tomorrow, I'll have Val to fill my time. Life's been pretty tough lately, but dear lord, you really do know how to keep me going.

p/s

Sometimes, it takes a lost to let others in to your life.

When I thought my world have collapsed,

you're one who show me otherwise.

How I wish you'll appear with just a snap of my fingers.

Damn, I miss you like crap!

It's A Good Night

2011-10-14T01:15:00.001+08:00

Woke up to a sweet morning, had Korean for lunch and head to Taylor's for the day. Slept at the comfy chair facing the lake for an hour and drilled myself with more thinking skills questions with my Chatime and Famous Amous cookies. Stayed back till really late at night, had Chinese for dinner and headed home.

The moon was exceptionally bright tonight.

Lullaby for the night.

p/s

snuggling with you is

plainly sweet.

My Heart Will Wait

2011-10-12T01:25:00.001+08:00

If I were to have a home

You'll be the wall supporting me

Who'll shade you from every thing.

Let this home be carried away through all seasons

Have us cuddle in a White Christmas during winter

Indulge in the scent of blooming flowers of Spring

Swim under the blazing sun of Summer

Have a walk through the leaves in Autumn

Watch the sunset into the desert horizon every day

And dance under a sky full of lighters throughout the night.

Define MomentsOfLife?!

...

You'll never know the true value of a moment

Until it becomes a memory.

p/s

3 words

8 letters

Say it and I'm yours.

11/10/2011

The Old School Way

2011-10-11T19:16:00.007+08:00

Bump into a huge crowd of CHSians at my usual spot today, peers and debate juniors. Then, queued up behind my long time buddy back when we're primary school kids. How's that? I was startled by the number of familiar faces I met today. Amazing time catching up with all of them (but less study time, GAH).

In particular, Ms Hee Pau Ling who've grown so much taller. She used to be in front of the queue every morning during assembly! Now, she's freaking tall. Like OMG!

Woman!

Nice crapping with you.

Come visit me here anytime, kay ;)

She's still so adorable and baby-like. And she's one of the few who speaks at my speed. Really had so much memories with her when we're younger, in Puay Chai. Miss those times. Good luck with your Law in the UK next year!

And oh my god, just before I left Starbucks. I bump into two of my debating rivals back in the high school debate arena. What's wrong with today?! *Faint*

Starbucks>>Dinner>>Massage>>hot shower

and

Skype!

Nights people!

p/s

Thanks for the sweet little notes on my folder/morning messages
It puts a smile on my face :)
38!
(I'm sure you're grinning as you read this)

If I'm Not Worth The Truth, You're Not Worth My Time

2011-10-10T22:35:00.002+08:00

This is how they have your back!

Life support.

October, please end quickly. Cause the whole Aussie bunch is coming back.

And then November, you better be fulfilling and extremely happening, which I'm pretty confident with that!

Last but not least, December will have the most important one back in time. In a blink of an eye, it'll be another Christmas and Countdown of the year!!!

All too frequently, the thought of creating more MomentsOfLife with one excites me. But subsequently, if you think like an economist (after so many books), the last thing I want to buy- your time, which was never intended to be mine.

ROCK THE LAST 3 MONTHS OF 2011!!!

DREAMS DO COME TRUE.

~~not you~~

Mountains Ahead To Climb

2011-10-10T21:49:00.004+08:00

I am walking on air!!
I feel like running naked on the street (my talk-only tagline)

Well, it's one thing to say but quite another to really do it. To that, you may well wonder what on earth had happened. It's just...just that I finished my second book of economics in less than a day! I took some time to finish the previous one, though thinner, my habit of understanding the usage of every new vocab I encountered (proudly add to my self-made vocab list) kinda lengthened the whole process.

But I thought speed reading is needed in the nick of time! Spent the day with my brother (it's been ages since we last went out together) at Taylor's oh-so-quiet exam hall in the library. I'm back on top of my game again with such efficiency!

Frankly, I do love having my own space, but not in a large vacant space, like my college library which is cold and superb lonely. My usual spot and taylor's 24/7 have one thing in common, they give me my own space amongst the crowd. It fills you up inside when you're alone.

Had Cha Time/Chilli Pan Mee today. Satisfied! I was secretly hoping for a herd of cows, I want to catch a breath and count them, but I wasn't so lucky.

For all the social network I've been cut off, I've been skyping almost every night. Glad to see those in the UK doing well and are in good shape. I know it's easy to fall into an emotional state, and the pressure of academics in a top elite college. But I know you'll always adapt to everything so quickly, pigs are good survivors, no? ;p Miss you people, of whom are my life support!

Next? The Armchair Economist!

His voice is the best lullaby on earth.

At least for now.

It makes my sleep soundly.

What's for tomorrow?
Another night at 24/7!

p/s

Sometimes,

It becomes a habit to lose touch with people

You no longer have the urge to find out everything

You'll sit there and wonder.

Why on earth you care about people who don't give a damn about you

And not care about people who puts you above everyone else.

PARADOX!

You're The Moon In My Sky

2011-10-10T01:33:00.003+08:00

(I have a love affair with chilli bulbs)

I was walking back and forth around the balcony to catch a glimpse of the perfect moon tonight, it seems like everyone has been talking about it. But I couldn't find it at first, which left me in a grumpy state. Like where on earth is the moon?

Hours later when I got another message (sorry I missed it) to see the moon, I just somehow look up to the sky right where I was sitting in my room, it's hanging right above me and I was literally over the moon! Dazzlingly beautiful.

Got a big lecture from my dad today. Apparently, I left my phone at the KTV yesterday night and I don't even realize it till next evening when I headed home. (that happens when your phone are of no significant value to you, not the material terms). Troubled my parents to claim my phone on my behalf while I was at the hostel indulging in SuperFreakonomics, perhaps a bonus from my recklessness is that I could peacefully finish the book. One down!

Embarrassingly, I have a really bad habit of leaving things behind. My car keys for example has been picked up by so many of you, my bottle is not an exception and so many other little things I couldn't name them all. My speed-of-light disappearance is something deemed to be condemned, I know.

Sundays home cooked dinners are my most look forward meals of the week. Lovely mak cik always make my favorite dishes, one of the very useful temptation to get me home, I'm a pig after all. But that's not the point, I had to be in the hostel to place myself in the war-zone mode.

The scribbled board with red marks are back. Currently on the 5th chapter of The Undercover Economist. I'm gonna nail this! Say no to physics at 8 on a Monday morning!

Side note:

Congratulations to my awesome cheerleading peers who've grabbed the silver medals with pride after weeks of training. You guys made all yellow fellows proud! So tempted to view the pictures! The bruises are ultimately worth it, no? And thanks to my live reporter ;)

These two cutie who turned sexy!

The part that got me rolling on the floor!

The 3 of them are such a cute combo.

p/s

Like the moon

It's brightness perfectly contrasted by the darkest sky

And you somehow used to show up at my darkest moment

But not anymore.